It took me a while but I finally finished all of those new Intro's I promised. They are a little rushed, but solid nonetheless. Hopefully I'll get better with time! And thanks again for reading! :D
Proposed intro #1:
How often do you find yourself walking down the pastry isle in Wegman’s simply looking for the cheapest treat? How often do you wonder if you’re getting the best choice? Do you ever wonder if the most expensive food item is the best? Perhaps you have pondered if brand really influence the quality? Well, sorry for poking at your imagination, because we can only answer one question. And we can only answer it for cookies. But hopefully it will satisfy your imagination for now.
Proposed intro #2:
I just didn't know what to do! My stomach was rumbling and there was no way to stop it. I began pacing back and forward thinking about how to solve my dilemma but the rumbling was very distracting. Suddenly, I realized what I wanted! The world's most famous cookie was calling my name from the kitchen cupboard and I couldn't resist its call. The chocolate chip cookie is the best cookie in the world and everyone knows its name. This made me wonder, "Does a delicious chocolate chip cookie taste any different when made by different companies?"
Proposed intro #3:
The quotes:
“What is the meaning of life? All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.” – anon
“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” – anon
Each quote truly captures the essence of its related treat. And what could possibly be the sum of these two delicious treats? Without a doubt it is the chocolate chip cookie, probably the single greatest invention. Within this essay we will discuss which brand of chocolate chip cookie is the greatest.
When reading over your revised introductions I realized, they are all great. My favorite introduction out of the three was introduction two because it played out as a scenario where you didn't know what it was going to take to calm down the rumbling in your stomach. I also like how you put in quotation of what you were thinking so that the reader knew where you were going with the paper but in a sly way. Introduction one was a good introduction, it was my second favorite out of the three provided. The questions you posed to the reader would make them think more of what chocolate chip cookies to buy instead of just picking a brand out and not paying attention to detail. I also like the part in the introduction when you state, "sorry for poking at your imagination..." that was a laugh out loud moment for me and put a smile on my face. Introduction three was okay, I like how you added quotes but the fact that you didn't elaborate enough on the introduction kinda cut the introduction a little short. I would have liked to see a little more detail and length in the third introduction. Overall, introduction number two was my favorite.
ReplyDeletei really enjoyed all of the intros. they grab the readers attention right away and make you want to keep reading. i think the first one is the best cause it kinda draws your attention away from your actual topic which keeps the reader on their toes
ReplyDeleteI thought all of your introductions were very good. Each one gave me a sense of what the paper is going to be about and got my attention right away. My personal favorite was intro number two because all of the descriptions made me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteAll of your intros were really really good! My favorite intro was the second one because the first sentence just hooked you in and it connected immediately. As well as the hook, your second intro gave the reader an idea of what was to come in the rest of the paper.
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