Episode I: Food Paper

This paper was pretty well written, for a draft at least. I got a plethora of ideas down on the paper, which should allow me to cruise through the rest of the editing process. However, before I wrote the paper I had to learn a tremendous amount about cookies. Not only did I have to learn about how cookies were invented (in order to create a decent intro) but I had to "conduct an experiment" in order to figure out which store bought cookie was the best. This essay was essentially the same as a lab write-up that you would do in chemistry after a lab. We tested each cookie, and then we wrote about our findings.

Since this draft was more like a lab than an actual paper, I found this paper really easy to write. Probably one of the easiest papers I've written in a long time. Even though it was easy, I was having a lot of trouble with one particular sentence. The transition sentence between my introduction and my first paragraph (essentially it was my thesis). I couldn't seem to find the right words to explain my thoughts.

After I reread my draft today, I noticed a ton of stuff that I could fix. Mostly just grammatical errors or word choice fixes, but errors nonetheless. Also, it was nice to get feedback from my partner because I finally have a title! I plan to fix a lot of the introduction.

Chocolate chip cookies are the greatest pastry of all. They are practically God’s gift to humans. But what is a cookie? A cookie is a delicious pastry. However, they weren’t discovered (if they were, that would be wonderful we could “harvest cookies”), they were in fact invented. This famous cook was Ruth Wakefield who came across this fabulous recipe in 1930. However, they were initially called Toll House Crunch Cookies. Now, I could go on to elaborate about how awesome of a person Ruth Wakefield was or I could just describe her most delicious discovery. The Toll House Crunch Cookies were a hit; Nestle and Wakefield struck a deal almost immediately where Wakefield would give Nestle her new recipe and Nestle would supply Wakefield with a large supply of Nestle Chocolate.
    This deal would be one of the most important deals ever made in the cookie industry. With the closing of this deal other companies could use the Toll House Crunch Cookie recipe. This led to many different companies producing slightly different recipes of cookies like Keebler’s Chips Deluxe ©, Nabisco’s Chips Ahoy ©, and Archway Home-style Cookies©. While each of these brands was initially based off Wakefield’s recipe, these different brands of cookies have original tastes.
    Honestly, it was hard to determine which cookie was the most disgusting, inedible piece of… cookie. Since the majority were too crumbly and too hard. It was like biting into sandstone. It was hard to the touch, but as soon as you bit it crumbled into a million-billion pieces. The most demonstrative of this property was Nabisco’s Chips Ahoy ©. They looked absolutely delicious, being nice and thin and smelling of an oven. However, when one inspected the cookie closer, the ridges (for increased surface area) were way too deep and cut too much out of the cookie. Also, the cookies had way too many chocolate chips. It looked like some little preschooler just added the maximum amount of chips to the dough. Honestly, some chips were even adjacent to each other. Although it didn’t stop there; as soon as you sunk your teeth into the cookie, the portion of cookie in your mouth sort of melted away while the portion of cookie outside your mouth crumbled away and blew like the dust in the wind. And to make matters worse, when you dunked the cookie in milk (which is supposed to complement cookies), the milk wasn’t absorbed. It was almost like the cookie was covered in an anti-milk layer. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I would give this cookie a 20% out of 100. It failed.
    In second to last place comes Archway Home-Style Cookies ©. On the packaging, the cookies looked like heaven. They looked like beautiful cookies that were the perfect temperature with melted chocolate chips. They looked like the ideal cookie. However, inside the package was a secret that should never have been released to man-kind. Their cookie. It was wiggly, damp and way to soft to be called a cookie. Everything about it was revolting. The only thing better than how it feels, smells and looks is how it sounds. In this case it behaves like any normal cookie, since it makes no sound. And the only thing worse than how it feels, smells and looks is how it tastes. When you start eating this cookie, you think to yourself “how bad can it be?” The horror is that your brain goes through three different mind sets while you’re eating. First, when you initially bite the cookie it bends with your teeth. This gives your body an extremely strange sensation that is anything but pleasurable. Second, you enter into the cookie, and the cookie’s entire flavor enters into your mouth. Normally, this would be the stage that you enjoy the most. However, while eating this cookie, it is the stage you fear. Finally, you finish biting the cookie and you have to decide if you will continue chewing the cookie, or if you will spit it out. Grant Hines, chose the second option as he exclaimed, “This cookie sucks!” This cookie, only slightly better than the former, receives a 30% out of 100.
    Our standards were low, but without a doubt Keebler’s Chips Deluxe © takes the cake. It was a little stale, which was better than the others and it was a little too hard but it had no other bad qualities. Now, picture yourself eating one of your mom’s homemade cookies. This is nothing like it; this cookie doesn’t look at all appetizing. However, contrary to its looks, this cookie actually tastes relatively good. I wouldn’t describe it as “delicious,” or “fabulous,” but it definitely wasn’t “bad,” or “awful.” In this regard, it blew the other cookies out of the water. With nearly moderate marks, I would probably give this cookie a “C+” or a 77% out of 100 which nearly triples the results of the two previous cookies.
    Store bought cookies aren’t anything to be proud about. If anything, they should be avoided. Stick to homemade cookie recipes as they not only are better for you but they also taste immensely better. However, if you must consume a store bought cookie, stick to Keebler’s Chips Deluxe ©. At least this brand wont disgust you enough to make you throw up.